dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
