I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
