I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
