I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
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You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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