Pants 0. Shit 1.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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