So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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