My girlfriend figured out who you are.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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