i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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