If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
