apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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