we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
