the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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