So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
