I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize