I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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