If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Randomize
