capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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