these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
