Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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