What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
