and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So vagazzling was a success
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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