Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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