Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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