I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize