the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
