Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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