why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
