ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
