im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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