We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
