I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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