Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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