Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
