If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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