Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
