This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
