also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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