i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
