You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
