I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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