there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
