Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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