Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
