We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize