I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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