week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
