she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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