I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
