So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
