pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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