Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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