we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
