It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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