none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
