Do you still have your period?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
