i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
