You can't motorboat a personality
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
