dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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