took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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