im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
