Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
