I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
