He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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