I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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