I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
