there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
