HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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