I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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