i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
