And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
